Frequently asked questions

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There’s something called Flow of Grace. It removes obstacles in our path and is designed to move us deeper into ourselves. If that causes your eyes to roll, let’s try a car metaphor. According to my mechanic, anything mechanical can go berserk at any time. Well so can any human, yet you may prefer a more effective strategy to wend your way through our current times. Everything, everywhere all at once might just be too much for you lately.

Could you use a tip or two to carry on? I’m glad you asked. Here are three ideas to consider. They can be a big help to the bottom line of your day.

First, Don’t Wait, Create

This comes up when you watch the news and then feel powerless. This is where fear can get to you.

The answer is to make a practice of being conscious of when you feel powerless. You find yourself thinking ‘what can I do? I’m just one person’ and you’ve talked yourself out of any action before you even know what that could be. Instead, don’t wait to see if it all gets worse. Take an action now. The action might not impact the outside thing that scares you. It will impact you and that shifts your state of mind from powerless to powerful. Make a choice to not sit in a victim state and be scared. It doesn’t do any of us any good.

Turn Fear on Its Ear

Here’s a secret that fear doesn’t want you to know. Where fear finds you is in your fear, it’s not the fear of that thing outside yourself. If your family was in a war, you might fear that will happen again. The outside situation triggers your inside story, and the inside story is the thing that scares you. It’s the story inside that you can now know consciously and once you identify your personal fear you can manage it and heal it from within. Be bigger than your fear. You can do that. Try it, you’ll like it.

Be Certain in Uncertainty

Uncertainty is rampant. It’s a little like being with your children while they tackle the rite of passage of their first bike ride. You hover; you hold the back of the seat steady until the moment when they take off on their own. That is the use of uncertainty, to ride right into certainty. It’s the only way to get there. And you’ve been doing that all your life.

Here’s one more practice that can give you a real boost – do what you can, when you can, where you can, because you can. You’ll be glad you did.   -V.K.

Question: I need to do a rewrite, but feel that I’ve outgrown it 

- PS, Toronto

A:  Of course, you outgrow it as you go. That is the point. Allow yourself to grow as much as your characters are growing and watch how alive that makes you and your script. Remember there’s no such thing as a fictitious character. The action-adventure is all for you to come to your own next understanding of yourself. Keep writing the truth. Grow your story; grow yourself. I have every confidence in you. -V.K.

Question: How does one invoke the creative spirit? 

- GS, Los Angeles

A:   The highest space in yourself is the space that feels scared, and struggling, and without confidence. The highest space is the honest place that is exactly where you are. Write that and watch how your feelings transpire. That’s making art of life. You’d be amazed how many writers call me with anxiety.  – V.K.

Question: How does a seasoned writer handle fear?

- GS, Los Angeles

A:    You have heroes in your scripts who are going through something harrowing and you have a perfectly good fear in your own heart as you write it. The first thing you try to do is get rid of the fear. You created it in the first place so that you could write from there. Do not separate yourself from your own juicy human emotions. You are in the business of having this feeling in yourself and then you are to pour it all over the page.  – V.K.

Question: Do rituals help when you're writing?

- GS, Los Angeles

A: When one of my writer clients feels a new novel coming on, he vacuums and the action and the noise starts getting him ready for focus. Another client stops all the clocks in his office, goes in, and doesn’t come out until his manuscript is done. I love a technique developed by Dr. Claudia Rose in which you invoke the spirit of your project and have a visual, visceral experience with it as a living force. Let the spirit of your script show you  the story and the way to tell it.   – V.K.

Question: Will fame change me? 

-CC, California 

A: Do you want it to change you?

Q: No.

A: Do you fear it will change you?

Q: Yes.

A: In what way?

Q: That I’ll be distant from my friends and my family.

A: That is the secret to your becoming famous. Be close to your friends and family now and you won’t be distant from them when you are famous. If you will notice now is when you are distant from them. Stop that. – V.K.

Question: I want to be a star too. Will you help me? 

– MN, New York

A:  Do your laundry, remember your nieces and nephews on their birthdays, treat everyone you meet with respect including yourself and let the magic come to you. Yes, you will be a star then we can begin. -V.K.

Question: I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know what to do. 

- CA, Texas  

A:  Don’t do … be. Doing is what overwhelm is. Too much doing feels like not enough result so you do more to control it more.

Instead … Be quiet. Be peaceful. Be amazed. – V.K.

Question: Tell me about suicide. What’s that all about? 

– GP, Montreal

A:  Whatever you’re experiencing, I wouldn’t recommend suicide as a solution; however, if your loved one has, there’s a gift in it for you. My hope is that you remain open to allow the answer to the ‘why’ question to come to you. First you grieve then you receive. What you will receive is clarity and peace around it. – V.K.

Question: How will I know that I’m talking to my mother who has passed over?

– GP, Montreal

A:  You’ll know because you’re doing the talking. So talk directly to her, not her photograph … to her. You’ll know she’s talking to you because you’ll feel it in your heart. It will be loving and comforting. Talk directly to her; she’ll talk directly to you. Go ahead. Let yourself. – V.K.